"It's because he's a man" or "Lalaki kasi", and "it's because he's handsome" or "Gwapo kasi" are often stated to explain away the impropriety of a Filipino male, to excuse the wayward husband, one who has or had many girlfriends while married (to be accurate - the ladies who got involved should be called mistresses rather than girlfriends). And often these statements are said with a smile or a dismissive laugh. But is this the right way to describe the man or to cope with the pain or awkwardness of the situation? 
Is this statement helpful, is it good? Or is it in fact damaging, and promoting of the very behavior one loathes.
Ladies, wives, think about it. By saying these statements, you are proposing that the man who has been faithful to his wife was just doing so for lack of appeal, that he is not handsome enough to the ladies, or because he's not a real man! But really? Come on now!
Plus, these statements totally disregard the directed efforts and determination of the faithful husband to steer clear of pretty women who wouldn't mind having an extra marital affair. It's as if he is not doing anything, and it just so happens by chance that he hasn't gotten any mistress.
In truth, a man seeking an adulterous affair has a high probability of finding it. There is no lack of men and women who would not turn down the extra attention and affection, the temporary excitement of forgetting ones responsibilities and troubles, of seeking solace in someone who doesn't know your faults and true character.
In counseling a number of couples, my wife and I have even met a woman who said she chose her husband knowing he wasn't handsome, to be more blunt - she said he was ugly, thinking he would never stray and have a mistress. But only to find out that even he had a period of walking away from her!
Ladies, never call your husbands ugly. Men need respect. And as they have this respect from you, it is easier for them to love you. Of course it also works the other way around - As men love their wives, it is easier for the wives to respect the husbands.
Back to the topic, the wives should never give an excuse for another man especially in front of her husband and say a fellow has had many mistresses because he's a man or because he's just handsome. It's almost like giving a challenge to your husband to prove himself that he is handsome and appealing and a true man by finding his own mistress!! And if the wife of a philandering husband says this in your presence to laugh off her situation, then you must defend your man and not accept this statement!
Okay, so now what is the correct statement? The best is to be truthful and honest! Don't stick to aged expressions, but communicate and express your thoughts! About the philandering husband - say that he's like that because he lacks discipline, or "walang disciplina!". Or say it's because he's weak and lacks strength, or he's a sinner "mahina kasi, walang tibay ng loob"! "Makasalanan kasi!"
These are painful words, right?! They surely are! But do you want to couch the adulterer and give him excuses and make him feel great, to the detriment of putting down the faithful husband and promoting that he also find a mistress? Or will you laud good and noble character and reinforce this behavior and have your men inspired to keep walking faithfully?!
Now I realize a principle in speaking and thinking is that we shouldn't judge and comment on character, but instead focus on behavior. So where the adulterous husband is in the conversation, the speech should be directed towards specific instances, mixed with an encouragement to rise up from the place he has fallen, and mixed with an abundance of prayer.
That's it for now.
May God bless all our family relationships!
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